


when he was mine.

by thundersandrains



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Dancer Jung Wooyoung, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Choi San, Office Worker Jeong Yunho, angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29575896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thundersandrains/pseuds/thundersandrains
Summary: The streets he ran into are now completely empty, making him wonder about how far he was able to run and if he was able to lose him already in the crowd.If he knows me, he’ll find me easily.Yunho knows him, but how much does Wooyoung know about him?
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Jung Wooyoung, Yunho/Wooyoung
Kudos: 7





	when he was mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Song to read with:  
> [I don't love you by Urban Zakapa](https://open.spotify.com/track/7neOIVKDsLaUXV5y84jGuY?si=N_Jut3fzStqMa35KWch24g&utm_source=native-share-menu)

Wooyoung stomped out, carrying his heavy bag with him as he stormed out of the restaurant. He silently hissed when big droplets of rain fell and drenched him, but he was desperate to leave the scene before he could follow him, so he sucked everything in and ran.

Grips tight on the straps of his gym bag, cursing as he ran and almost slipped when he took a sharp turn in the curb, but he was able to gain back his footing just in time when he heard him call.

“Wooyoung!”

He ignored it, not bothering to look back as he dodged the people walking on the sidewalk in attempts to get away as far as he can from him.

He thought about how Yunho clung onto him that morning and Wooyoung refused to let him go off for work, how Yunho cooked him a sloppy breakfast that includes a slightly burnt toast and overcooked eggs, how Yunho kissed him on the forehead as he slipped on his bag, asking him to be careful and reminded him of his meals just about he was to go out of the house. He thought about the messages he left for Wooyoung, telling him he missed him so much and about the meals they’ll order in for later when they both got home from work. He thought about the pictures Yunho sent him from his day, with small talks about the new puppy they were planning to adopt.

Wooyoung thought about how all of it had been a lie.

“Wooyoung! Please!”

The streets he ran into are now completely empty, making him wonder about how far he was able to run and if he was able to lose him already in the crowd.

If he knows me, he’ll find me easily.

Yunho knows him, but how much does Wooyoung know about him?

Wooyoung took this chance to catch up his breath, placing his hands on his knees and breathing deeply. He can feel his shirt sticking onto his skin, like clinging on for dear life. His bag felt like it was a ton heavier than it was before it got soaked in the rain, and his shoulder is aching from the weight, but he paid no attention to it, sucking in another breath and prepared to run once again. 

He ran his finger through his drenched bangs, and when he was about to dash off, a hand grabbed his wrist, making him turn. He knew who it belonged to, so he turned and glared at him, snatching his wrist away.

Yunho looked down at him, drenched in the rain too, the coat from his suit missing and nowhere in sight, making his inner shirt soaked and sticking to his skin like Wooyoung’s. Yunho didn’t look at Wooyoung in the eyes when he snatched his hand away from, his head hanging low and breathing heavy.

If Wooyoung hasn’t seen the scene before him inside the restaurant, he might have ran and hugged and hid away in his chest, just like he did before. 

But he couldn’t burn the image of Yunho kissing the back of her hand, smiling softly and laughing loudly, as if they were the only people in the world.

Was he that stupid to not have seen it coming? Was he blind to not see the signs or was he in too deep to pay attention to them?

Wooyoung glared and continued to take in deep breaths, fighting the urge to yell at him in this empty street, calming himself down even though it is so hard to keep everything in.

“Wooyoung-”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Wooyoung threatened, staring him down.

Yunho could be a head taller than him, but this time, it looked like he was smaller than him, shoulders stripped off of their confidence and head dropped down low. Wooyoung refused to look deeper into it, like how slow Yunho breathing became, how he was so drenched in the rain that could give him the colds tomorrow morning, and how pale the skin in his arms became.

He refused to think anything about him, because his heart just had enough to handle now.

“Don’t you fucking dare beg now.” Wooyoung hissed, turning around to run away. Run as far as he could from him, maybe stay in San’s apartment for a week or so until he had cried out all his pain and found the strength to face Yunho again to get his belongings from their shared room. 

Yunho grabbed his arm once again, and Wooyoung snatched it away without looking at him, but Yunho held on tight, moving forward to look at Wooyoung clearly.

His heart clenched at the sight of Yunho’s bloodshot eyes, tears or rain on his cheeks, his hair flat and sticking on to his forehead. Yunho’s breathing was uneven, and his eyes were lost and weary, and they could just speak, Wooyoung would be deaf of all the things they have to say. 

“Wooyoung, listen to me-”

“I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say!” Wooyoung exclaimed, the arm that Yunho held was burning from his touch. The urge not to scream was thrown out, and all he wanted to do now was to yell and scream and be loud.

His chest felt so heavy, like his heart was being squeezed and dragged and crushed.

The image of Yunho smiling so bright for someone else made it harder for him to calm himself down and fight the urge to spat at the person he had learned to love for years.

“I can explain!” Yunho yelled desperately, his voice vibrating through Wooyoung’s body, making him flinch and pull his arm away. “Please, Wooyoung! Let’s talk about this!”

“You want to talk about this?” Wooyoung smirked, but both of them knew nothing was amusing at this point. “Fine. Let’s talk about this. When?”

Yunho looked taken aback with this, his body straightening but his eyes still looked lost. “What?”

“When did it start? When did you find yourself falling for her?” Wooyoung spat, hot tears burning his eyes. “When did you start feeling lost in her eyes?”

The image of Yunho laughing out loud while Woooyung stared from the window was enough to crush his heart. Wooyoung thought it would be easier if Yunho would deny whatever he will spat at him now, still believing that his own eyes were only fooling him and that Yunho still loves him.

But nothing is more heartbreaking when Yunho took so fucking long to answer him.

“When did you start looking at her similar to the way you look at me, Yunho? Since when did you laugh that hard just like how I was able to do for you?”

The image of Yunho dropping onto his lap while he laughed out loud in their bedroom when Wooyoung brought up the antics he did in the gym came flashing before his eyes. That felt like a long time ago, making him realize that it had been so long since they were able to spend time alone like they used to.

Before Wooyoung drowned himself with work and part-time jobs. Before Yunho got promoted and spent more time in the office.

“Since when did you realize that I am not the only one in your heart anymore?”

“Wooyoung-”

“Answer me! Answer me, because I was too busy to realize that the man I sleep with every night seemed to be in love with someone else!”

“It’s not-”

“Then what! Yunho, you can’t expect me to understand after seeing you kiss her hand, while I was outside the restaurant far too expensive for my budget. You can’t expect me to understand you when you are in there looking so fucking happy and contented.” Wooyoung spat, panting as the words continued to flow from his mouth. “You can’t expect me to find any more reasons to love you when I’ve been given the reason to stop it.”

Yunho remained silent, silently begging him to stop, but Wooyoung had enough.

San told him that once a person had to choose between the two of you, you have to let him go. Because if he truly loved you, you would be his only choice. 

Wooyoung didn’t understand it at that time, but after seeing Yunho there, and here, lost for words and begging to let him explain, he suddenly knew what San meant.

Yunho has found someone else to love.

“Wooyoung, I was supposed to tell you, and you are not supposed to find out about it this way-”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? The fact that you thought about me while you are out there lying to my back every time I turned?” Wooyoung chuckled darkly. “Since when?”

“A few weeks ago.”

Wooyoung looked at him in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. “This started a few weeks ago and you can’t be bothered to tell me the truth? Yunho, you do know that I would easily let you go if you simply said that you found someone else, right? You do know I would let you go if you just told me to let you go, right? Yunho, that is how much I love you, that I am more than willing to let you go if you just told me about it.”

Yunho broke his stare, but Wooyoung continued to face him, desperate to get his message across.

“I would let you go if you asked.”

Wooyoung felt his tears coming in hot, making their way through his cheeks and meddling with the raindrops that covered his face. The rain came stronger, making it harder to see and making his bag heavier, but he didn’t mind it.

The emptiness in his chest is heavier than any load he would carry.

“I- It was hard for me to tell you about it, because you’ve been nothing but good to me, Wooyoung.” Yunho whispered, and Wooyoung almost didn’t catch it. “You were so good to me that I hate to break and tell you that my heart fell for someone else, when all you did was love me with everything you have and are.”

The memory of Yunho crying while curled in Wooyoung’s chest came like an unwanted visitor, the desperate cries coming from Yunho’s lips lingering in the room as he apologized for not being able to give back the love Wooyoung gave him.

“It was stupid enough to take and take your love without being able to repay you, and what more when my heart found comfort and home in someone else that’s not you.” Yunho cried, finally meeting Wooyoung’s eyes. “It was so hard to think of a way to tell you about this because-” he paused, and Wooyoung felt his body froze, both in the cold and in his words, “-because I love you but I cannot bring myself to love you the way you did.”

Wooyoung suddenly felt the weight crashing on his shoulders, his arms numbing from the heaviness of his bag, his chest growing cold from every word that came out of Yunho’s lips, his head blanking out except for Yunho’s face.

“I was supposed to tell you, but everytime you welcome me home with the biggest smile and the warmest of hugs made me back out. I was supposed to message you about it but after seeing the concerns and reminders you give me made me stop. I was supposed to yell it you during our fights but seeing how desperate you were in trying to fix everything made me fucking guilty about it.”

Wooyoung could differentiate the tears on Yunho’s cheeks from the rain, he could feel the density of each teardrop that the rain could not represent.

“I was supposed to tell you about it but I kept beating myself up for loving someone else that’s not you.”

The image of Yunho’s sad face burned into Wooyoung’s mind. The image of him laying down beside him as he apologized for not being able to show him much more of his love to Wooyoung, but he dismissed it and hushed Yunho and cradled him to sleep.

Was it that painful to receive the love he was willing to give?

“It hurts so much knowing that I am going to hurt you when all you did was love me for who I am.”

Wooyoung refused to remember this, he refused to take note of everything Yunho is right there. He refused to think of the details in Yunho’s pinched expressions, his words and his emotions. 

He refused to have this as his last memory of him.

Yunho deserved to smile and be bright, and not this. 

Wooyoung loved him that much.

“I wished you told me, Yunho. Because I never asked you to return whatever I gave you, I simply gave them to you because I wanted to. Because I love you.”

Yunho cried loud, sobbing and struggling to catch his breath, shivering with the cold that lingered around them from the rain. Wooyoung fought the urge to hug him and protect him from everything, but he knew he couldn't anymore.

He had done enough.

“I love you, and that means I am willing to do anything just to keep you happy. Even if that means I have to lose you and give you to someone else.” Wooyoung said softly, the anger in him subsiding as he realized he can never be mad at him for too long.

He took a brave step forward, close enough to whisper but far enough to stop himself from clinging onto Yunho. “Is she treating you right?” he asked quietly, his voice cracking.

Yunho looked at him carefully, studying his face before nodding slowly. 

“Is she taking care of you? Is she making you eat properly and making you rest a lot?”

“She does.” Yunho whispered back, stuttering and sniffing as he did.

“Does she love you?”

Yunho paused, tears falling faster now, but he nodded nonetheless.

“Do you love her?”

“Wooyoung-”

“Just answer me please.” Wooyoung pleaded. “ Do you love her?”

“I do.” Yunho breathed, and Wooyoung felt another tear slip out of his eyes.

He nodded and smiled softly at Yunho, closing his eyes briefly before forcing himself to look at him again. “Okay.”

He started to walk away from Yunho, clutching his bag tightly, his knuckles turning white but his heart hurts more than any physical pain. He stared at Yunho’s big eyes as he slowly increased their distance, keeping the small smile on his lips.

“Wooyoung-” Yunho called out as he tried to step forward, but Wooyoung stopped him.

“Don’t.” he begged. “I might not let you go if I wasn’t the one who’ll step away first.” he paused, taking in this view of Yunho.

Tears in his cheeks, hair pressed flat against his forehead, shirt and slacks drenched, puddles around his feet, and the rain coming down hard around hard. Even in this scene, Wooyoung found him beautiful.

“I love you.” Wooyoung whispered, knowing well enough that Yunho won’t be able to hear him from the distance and from his cries. “But you are not mine to love anymore.”

“Thank you.” Yunho whispered. “I’m sorry.” he sobbed as he watched Wooyoung walk farther away from him in the rain, dragging his feet under him as he wiped away the tears from his face.

_“I love you.”_


End file.
